One Foot Forward, One Step Back
by rensrenegade
Summary: It's not like they planned this. It wasn't as if they had decided 'let's go to a Catholic school and have a gay romance'. Because sure, that seems like a splendid idea. But for the first time in either of their lives Kenny and Craig were happy. It was just the wrong circumstances. The wrong bodies. The wrong everything. But if it was so wrong, why did they feel so right?


_Author's Note: Okay, okay, so I originally wrote a piece for one of my friends on her and on tumblr, Uki (ukaisha) for reasons. But I've been writing a lot of prompty stuff to get me motivated to finish SAC and to start some of my bigger projects. My writing has gotten a little rusty so I guess writing this for her helped me some too. But yeah, I guess I didn't realize how shitty this was going to be until I finished it. So I feel like this is just like... you know when you step on a pile of dog shit? Yeah, I feel like this is the piece that resembles that moment. So I'm now a tad embarrassed to say that I wrote this for her. But. Ehh. I've written worse I think. No, I know. But this is pretty damn bad. _

_Anyway, enjoy reading. Meanwhile I'll be questioning why I wrote this in the first place._

* * *

It's not like they planned this. It wasn't as if they had decided 'let's go to a Catholic school and have a gay romance'. Because sure, that seems like a _splendid_ idea. But shit happens, and it happened to them, and now they were stuck in a situation that, if anyone else found out, would have dire consequences.

Their parents, for example, would disown the both of them.

Kenny McCormick, coming from a strict Roman Catholic Irish family, was only able to go to the school because he had a scholarship based on need rather than merit. He was two strikes from expulsion and if so he'd end up going to the inter-city school his brother went to. And probably turn out the same as well. His parents sent him to the St. Ignatius Catholic School for Boys in hopes that he could bring some honor and money into the family.

Craig Tucker, coming from a Scottish and Hispanic Roman Catholic family, would be out of his house faster than he could make the sign of the cross and spit out the Our Father. He was the role model for his sister; how could she learn from a brother who is gay? He would corrupt her. Their reputation as an upstanding Catholic family would be ruined. Because of him.

Because for the first time in either of their lives Kenny and Craig were happy. It was just the wrong circumstances. The wrong bodies. The wrong everything.

But if it was so wrong then why did they feel so right together?

It wasn't easy, that was for damn sure. Trying to maintain a relationship in a very strict school with eyes in the walls was difficult. They knew who to trust and where to go, and even then it was a challenge. But they made do; and had for the past four years.

The summer was the worst. Three months separated across the United States, in different time zones and schedules that kept them from talking. In different environments that sometimes made even an email impossible. But they made do. And August could never come fast enough.

Soon this would all be done. Soon they would run away together, as soon as they graduated. It was their plan; to go to Wyoming, to get away from everyone, to have privacy and no one around for miles so they could just breathe. For the first time in their lives. For the first time they could be themselves and everything would be right.

They had a month to go.

These four years would not be in vain.

They were so afraid to touch. That an accidental brush of the hand sent a Hail Mary running through their heads and sexual dreams ended up nearly making them go to confession. It wasn't their fault, it was years stuck in this hell hole. They didn't have to touch, to kiss, to know that their feelings were real. But it would be nice.

Three years and accidental touches and one shared kiss on New Year's Eve was all they had.

But it was enough.

And then… it happened.

It's not like _it_ was bad. It was just… a reminder that the world they lived in would never be so accepting. That their love was frowned upon in so many places, by so many people. That they still had to keep up a facade. That talking to each other more than the other boys would look suspicious. That they had to keep their eyes low and just get by.

They saw it on the way back to the school from their weekend out on the town. They had gone to an Italian restaurant and walked around, eventually stopping on the bridge over the river, and talked with no eyes on them as they gazed at the moon's reflection in the water. No touching. Just in case.

And they were laughing, almost holding hands, laughing so hard tears were in their eyes. Begging to fall. But they wouldn't. Because if they fell, the mirth would turn into anguish.

The posters.

As their eyes settled on the papers in the hallways, their hearts sank. Kenny's hands burrowed in his pockets, Craig's folded over his chest.

_St. Ignatius' 17__th__ Annual Senior Prom  
Saturday, April 18 at 7:00 PM  
Formal attire  
Dates must be approved from St. Cecilia's'  
Theme to be determined by Prom Committee  
Must have a date to attend_

Kenny and Craig looked at each other and smiled sadly.

Everyone went.

Everyone _always_ went.

They had to go. There was no way they couldn't. If they skipped out they would be ridiculed, not that it mattered much as they had a month left anyway, but it would be enough to need damage control. And if neither of them went.

They had heard the stories about the boys a year above them; Leopold Stotch and Bradley Johnston. They hadn't gone. Instead, they were found kissing on the grounds. Leopold was expelled. Bradley killed himself the night Leopold left.

They couldn't be like that.

"We're going to go," Kenny whispered as they walked up the stairs to their dormitories. Separate, by alphabetical order. "I know who to ask."

Craig nodded, and bit down on his lip.

"Save me a dance?" He asked finally.

They froze and stared at each other; Craig's quiet voice, never timid, never vulnerable, sounded like a child trying his best not to cry.

The blonde smiled sadly and began to reach for his hand. He stopped himself, cleared his throat, and ran a hand through his hair. He then nodded.

"Of course," he whispered, scrubbing a hand through his shaggy hair. "The last one, of course." Craig grinned at this and Kenny beamed back. Then quickly, so the cameras wouldn't catch them, he tugged the raven's hand in his and squeezed gently. His face flushed and Craig rolled his eyes as they bumped fists, fingers hesitating to separate as they split for their separate halls.

And so, they would dance together; one song. They would dare to hold hands, to touch and sway in time, bodies touching. They would have their one song, this one moment to last them until graduation. And then they rest of their lives were theirs.

Colorado and New Mexico be damned. These small towns they grew up in, to go to this Catholic school… they would leave it all behind. Their names would hold them back here. They had to get away to be happy. And they would.

They would.

* * *

"This dance is fucking stupid," Kenny's roommate, Stan Marsh, grumbled from his bed. He lay in a blanket of negativity, and Kenny scoffed as he climbed down from his top bunk, to sit with him. "I'm not going."

"Why? There's always Wendy," Kenny offered; he was fully aware that they had broken up. And he needed her. But the offer was still there. He had to at least pretend to be helpful. Stan shook his head though, and Kenny grimaced. "What about that one slutty chick? Alexis?"

The raven haired teen sighed and thrust his head back on the pillow and let out a low groan of annoyance. Kenny rested his head on his knees and stared at his roommate.

The look on Stan's face made him believe the ceiling was going to crash around them.

"I don't want to go barking up that tree again."

"Taking her to a dance doesn't mean you fuck her." Stan raised an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Did _you_ actually just say that?" he shrugged and watched as Stan continuously dropped his phone on his chest. "Ken, seriously, you of all people should know that this prom is basically the school's invite to finally let us… act our age, actually."

"If by 'acting our age' you mean dance appropriately and sneak off and fuck our dates senseless, yeah," Stan snickered and Kenny smirked a little as he played with the cuffs of his sweatshirt sleeves.

The uniforms were stuffy, but thankfully on weekends they were allowed to wear whatever. Kenny vowed that as soon as he got out of here he would never wear another button up shirt for the rest of his life.

He picked at the threadbare ends of his sleeves, making the tears and frays worse than before. It was a nervous habit; but right now he had no reason to be nervous. Other than Craig, Stan was his best friend.

"Is Eric going to the dance?" Kenny asked. His roommate let out a bark of laughter and shook his head before he finally set his phone down next to him and picked up the book he was reading; The Lord of the Flies.

"Hell no, he and Kyle are doing something instead."

Kenny and Craig weren't the only gay people at school. Only they weren't stupid enough to tell people they were. Eric Cartman, on the other hand, had practically strutted down the hallway drenched in rainbows and screamed out every homosexual stereotype that ever came to be. It was unbearable; but at least people were accepting of his very flamboyant ways.

Whether it was for show or not, Kenny couldn't tell. It just grated on his nerves. Eric was his friend; and he did want him to be happy. He just managed to do what he was afraid to do in the most cliché and offensive way possible. But that was the Eric Cartman in a nutshell.

But at least coming out to his mom had consisted of bringing home a Jewish boy and having her walk in on them fucking on the sofa with Cartman saying, "Scream for me, dreidel boy". That story was still entertaining, even after two years.

The blonde nodded slowly; he should have guessed Eric wouldn't be attending the prom. Everyone, including the teachers, would know it was just so he could go. And dances weren't his scene. Filthy gay bars at the edge of town with a fake ID were, however.

In a sense Kenny was envious of Eric's courage. Sure, he was rebellious, but he could never imagine himself just telling the entire the school, and his family, that he was gay. He couldn't bear to think about getting a fake ID and going to gay bars.

Not yet at least.

He was still quite a rebel in terms of Catholic school boys, and what he did do he kept quiet about. But compared to Eric Cartman his conscience was white as snow.

Which was a relief because the priest always thought otherwise, and had him stay a half hour longer after confession to pray for his damned soul.

Kenny left Stan to his book and climbed up to his bunk once more. He lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, and couldn't help but smile a little. So far, their plan was working. Wendy was going to the prom with Craig. Kenny was just waiting to hear from his friend, Bebe Stevens, to see if she would agree. He couldn't help but think she would; considering she was dating Wendy now.

It gave them all a chance.

And it was perfect.

So perfect that Kenny knew nothing could possibly go wrong. He was practically buzzing with happiness. They did it. They managed to beat the system, so far, at least. They just had to get through the dance. And right now that just seemed possible.

What he had said about the dance was right. They would finally have a chance to cast aside this pretentious 'holier than thou' bullshit that had been shoved down their throats for the past seven years. They would hopefully have at least a semi-decent time, listen to music other than Christian and Catholic radio, and actually spend time laughing during a school function, at the very least.

But there was also the students' expectations of fucking. It was the only time the two schools interacted; the senior prom. Seeing girls had been a rare opportunity for all of them, and they were all well acquainted with their hands by now. This gave them a chance to actually experience something physical besides a quick wank in the shower.

Fucking.

Kenny's smile faded as he lay back on his bed. He closed his eyes; he'd be a liar if he said he never thought about that with Craig. But there was absolutely no way they could get away with that. No way. No matter how much he would like to muster up an ounce of Eric Cartman's courage… no.

One dance was enough for him. Touching him, daring the school to notice, that was enough.

They would have plenty of chances to fuck once they graduated.

Kenny groaned and threw his head back against his pillow.

One month. That's all he had left.

It was worth it.

Craig was worth it.

* * *

Craig clutched his hand as he entered his dorm room. His roommate, a nervous mother fucker who he was convinced was on some kind of speed, jumped and let out a quiet gasp as he entered the room.

"Jesus, you scared me!" Tweek Tweak gasped, then tossed his comic book on the ground. Craig traced his palm and smiled sheepishly. "You're lucky you didn't get caught."

"I know, I know, mother," he teased, then grabbed his laptop from his desk and lay on his bed. Tweek yawned and gazed at him for a moment, then picked up his comic book.

Although Tweek was known by most to be this constantly shaking, coffee for blood, paranoid teen, to Craig he was calming. Talking to him, and just being in his presence was nice. He couldn't imagine being a roommate to anyone else in this hell hole.

Well, Kenny. But that was different. Way different.

For starters, he could talk to Tweek about his sexuality issues. Mostly because Tweek had decided a long time ago that he was asexual and since he wasn't straight… he was someone to talk to. In fact, he help him discover that he was gay. And he didn't judge him at all for it; which was also a relief.

And although Tweek had anxiety levels through the roof, if Craig ever stressed about something then he'd be there to help. He'd talk him through his anxiety and nerves, help him see rationally, and set him straight. Craig was never successful with Tweek. But his roommate appreciated the fact that he tried.

"So, how was your date?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Way too many 'dudes' and 'bros' were said just in case anyone from school was around. And ever fist bump or shove was innuendo for 'I want you in my pants now'."

Tweek laughed a little; his nose wrinkled and his cheeks were a little pink as he laughed. He was cute; Craig knew that. And he had a pretty cute laugh too. But Tweek was smitten with a junior from St. Cecilia's. At least he was happy, Craig figured.

"I'm surprised you two just haven't banged already. You have way more opportunities than any of the rest of us, y'know. Just go to the bathrooms and have a quickie." Craig scoffed and shrugged; that's not how he wanted his first time to go. Especially with Kenny.

Although yeah, he knew they both had been tempted to do that.

But they hadn't even kissed.

Out of fear; mostly Craig's fear. He was terrified to get caught. And it took a while for his physical desire to catch up with his emotional attachment to Kenny. And even still he was convinced he had, at the very least, a very low sex drive for his age. But Kenny was patient, and understood that Craig had anxiety and worries- both rational and irrational.

But Kenny was also a little hesitant, Craig knew this. He was definitely aware of his sexual attraction to Craig, as they had discussed it before. But actually acting on it in school, risking their education and standing with their families wasn't worth it.

They were both happy telling them they were going to be roommates and move to Wyoming to go to school. And just keep telling their families that, twenty years later, they were still roommates and working. It would work. They even planned to have a two-bedroom house in case parents came to visit and it wouldn't look suspicious.

It was perfect.

Craig sighed and glanced over at Tweek, who was grinning at him.

"What?" Craig asked.

"You are so wound up, dude," the blonde mumbled, "I can almost smell your testosterone." Craig rolled his eyes and felt his face heat a little.

Okay, so maybe he was a little hot and bothered. Kenny's hand squeezing his… that shouldn't have done it for him. But his touch ghosted over his palm, his flesh tingled. He could imagine the rest of his body tingling; his neck, his sides, his…

"I swear to God if you end up popping one I'm throwing a book at it."

"Dude," Craig grumbled; he knew his cheeks were on fire right now, "I'm not thinking about that."

His roommate tilted his head and discarded his comic book once more. Now his full attention was on him.

"Talk to me, Tucker."

And so he told Tweek their plan to go to the dance. How he had called Wendy Testaburger and told her about the plan, asking if she would like to go- with the incentive of being able to dance with her girlfriend. She had agreed. And now Bebe Stevens was going with Kenny, and they were all going to go dress and tux shopping together. And how perfect of a plan it was.

"For one dance?" Tweek finally asked, Craig nodded. "That's it?"

"Well, I… yeah?"

"That's all you want? A dance? One measly slow dance? Not the fast songs, the ones where you can rub up on each other and it looks totally okay because every other fucking guy is doing it? Not the ones where you can basically get away with frottage?"

"Huh?" Tweek sighed.

"Dry humping."

"W-well…" the younger teen groaned and threw his comic book at him.

"Dude, you have this opportunity. At the very least you have realized that the teachers are all going to be at the dance, right? Like. Are you even thinking about skipping out early?"

Craig blinked at him.

"And I'm the asexual one? Dude, you have so much opportunity here. You all do. You can do way more than just dance. You can have an entire night… just you two."

"What do you mean?"

"Like the whole shebang, with the fireworks at the end. Hon, your night ain't ending at midnight if I can help it." Craig covered his face in his hands to keep himself from seeing Tweek's wicked grin.

"Oh my God…"

"Is what you'll be saying, I'm sure." Craig smacked his forehead against his hand and sighed heavily, "seriously, you realize the post prom is going to go on until three in the morning? I'll be there. This dorm will be empty for like… four hours. And then, then… about a half hour before the dance ends… you're not going to feel well, right? And Kenny is going to be the only one to notice. And he's going to help you to your room, like the good friend he is, right?"

"You little shit…" Craig trailed off, eyes widening in disbelief.

"And if you're both asleep when I get here… I'll wake Kenny, okay? Don't want the RAs catching him missing, right?"

"You're a genius…"

"I just want you guys to have a chance. This has been going on… how many years, and you haven't even kissed?" Craig shook his head, "well, I'm giving you your chance. Don't disappoint."

Tweek crawled to the foot of his bed and reached for the light switch. They both settled in the dark, and said nothing as they basked in the silence.

Craig considered everything Tweek had just suggested. It was perfect. Instead of a song, a dance… they really could have the night. They had this chance. They couldn't risk it.

And maybe they could give Wendy and Bebe the same thing. So they could have the perfect night as well.

And Kenny could be in here, in three nights. Laying here with him, laughing, cuddling him… touching him. Pressing his lips on his neck. Running his hand from his stomach, passed the waistband of his pajama pants…

"Hey, Craig?" Tweek asked, pulling Craig from his wandering thoughts. His body tightened and he let out a shaky breath as his fingernails dug into the fabric of his pants. "You owe me all the juicy details. And I'm sure they're going to be juicy."

Craig's face heated as he brushed his hand over his front, trying his best to imagine the feeling of Kenny's hand doing the same thing.

His eyes widened as his body tightened and he came at the thought of teasing fingers and gentle strokes against his nearly neglected manhood. Craig let out a shaky sigh and grimaced as he realized he was stuck in these soiled pajamas for the rest of the night.

It was worth it though.

The thought of Kenny doing that to him.

Yeah.

He'd be okay with it.

* * *

The next few days went by quickly. The school was in utter chaos as they prepared for the prom; each of the seniors worked an hour a day to help the committee prepare for the dance. Mainly they worked on decorations yet some were in charge of figuring out catering, music, and the management of the overall project.

Kenny was one of the people working on decorations. Craig was lucky enough to work with music. They barely had enough time to communicate about their plans and what was going to happen on prom. Meaning, Craig hadn't had a chance to tell Kenny there was a huge shift in his motives. One he felt was for the better.

And a part of him wanted to keep it to himself, too. Except, of course, he'd tell Bebe and Wendy. They deserved to know as well.

But as far as Kenny, Craig felt he shouldn't know until the night of the dance. He wasn't one for spontaneity. But this seemed like something Kenny would really enjoy as a surprise.

Tweek was right. They would have their night. Regulations be damned.

And suddenly Wednesday turned to Saturday. Here Craig was in his dorm room, Tweek tying his bow and fixing his hair, which made Craig feel completely incompetent.

"You look dashing, Mr. Tucker." Craig rolled his eyes, "it'll be such a shame when Kenny takes this off."

"Will you can it?" Craig barked; his nerves were in overdrive and Tweek's comments surely weren't going to help. The blonde just smirked and gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze. "Thank you."

Tweek had pulled himself together quite well, especially for his date. Craig was personally also happy for Tweek; he had found someone who did understand him and his asexuality. And he was happy. Very happy, despite the constant shaking from his over-intake of caffeine.

"It's 6:30," Tweek mumbled, nudging Craig. "Time to go the gymnasium."

Craig sighed and nodded, then caught a glance of himself in the mirror. He grimaced.

"You'll be just fine, dude," the blonde assured, "c'mon."

Kenny groaned as he tried to tie his bow tie. He gave up. He couldn't do this.

"I'm not going," he sighed in defeat, then sat on the bed.

Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh stared at him in disbelief. They were both in their pajamas and laying on Stan's bed as they watched some cheesy movie on the comedy channel.

"You can't just bail on Bebe," Eric commented, tossing a cheesy poof in the air; it hit his nose. Stan snickered. "She's like the hottest chick in that school."

"You're gay."

"I can still appreciate the aesthetic value of the ta-tas."

"Those things are more like jahoobs," Stan mumbled wistfully. Eric nudged him.

"Dude, Kenny's date." Stan waved him off and grabbed a handful of the snacks.

The blonde sighed heavily and stared at himself in the mirror. Yeah, he surely didn't feel like this is how he should look for prom. He wore his brother's too big tuxedo and his father's too small shoes. He surely wasn't enough to stand out and impress Craig; although he wasn't sure if he had to do that. It just wasn't fair. He wanted him to look at him and be wowed. Instead, he'll probably get some snarky comments.

And he couldn't tie the damn bow tie correctly.

"You wanna watch this with us?" Stan asked. Kenny sighed heavily and stared at the bow tie.

"No…"

Damn his own feelings. He couldn't let Craig down; even if he couldn't tie the tie, and even if his suit was too big. Craig wouldn't really care. As long as they had their one dance.

Everyone else could talk. They could laugh at him. Make fun of the fact that it was glaringly obvious that he was the scholarship kid.

But Craig wouldn't.

"I can't skip out on this…" Kenny trailed off. Eric raised his hand for a high-five; the blonde hesitantly slapped their hands together.

"Get some!" the brunette exclaimed, wiping the orange residue from his fingers.

Kenny sighed softly and smiled a little, with a tinge of nerves with a hint of sadness lifting the corners of his lips.

Kenny and Craig smiled sheepishly at one another as they stood with their dates. Bebe and Wendy looked as if they were trying their best to not jump each other's bones, or to spill a big secret.

"You look beautiful," Kenny said to Bebe, yet his eyes were on Craig. The curly blonde girl smiled and nudged him.

"Likewise," she winked at Wendy, who rolled her eyes and laughed as she locked arms with Craig.

The music was loud as they entered the gymnasium. As they figured, no one was dancing. Most of the guys were gathered together talking on the bleachers while the girls sat at the tables. The two couples looked at each other, unsure of what to do, and sat at a table.

Yup. Prom was allowing them to actually be like normal kids for once. Except, there they were, doing the same things as usual. Perhaps people were scared. Or it just felt awkward. They didn't know.

Bebe and Wendy had instantly sat next together, leaving Kenny and Craig to follow suit.

"I think this was a bad idea," Bebe said with a small smile. Wendy chuckled and rested her head on the blonde's shoulder for a brief moment.

"I guess we should've figured…" Kenny trailed off, resting his hand on Craig's knee. The older boy kept his eyes on the table as he laced his fingers with Kenny's. The darkness in the auditorium was a slight confidence booster.

"I have a suggestion," Craig said, resting his eyes on Bebe and Wendy. Kenny's thumb caressed the back of his hand; he dared to wish for that touch elsewhere. "What if we make the best of a couple hours? Go on the floor and dance when people finally do, and everyone is like… gonna be all over each other. We don't have to have just one song. We can dance together the entire night." He was squeezing Kenny's hand now. "And then… I'm going to get sick."

"Right _now_?" Kenny asked, sliding away from him with wide eyes.

"No, like. In a couple hours. I'm not going to be feeling well and you're going to have to take me to my room. I think Bebe won't be feeling so hot either."

"Bitch, I'm always hot," she teased. "But I like your way of thinking."

"So… we leave prom early?" Kenny finally asked. Craig nodded with a smirk toying on his lips. Kenny bit down on his bottom lip and tried his best to hide his own smile.

"Wait," Wendy said, looking between the two, "you guys have never actually done it, have you?" The two boys blinked at her. "Bebe and I do like… twice a day. How have you gone for what, three years, without doing it?"

"Well…" Kenny trailed off, pink rising in his cheeks. "It helps that you two are roommates." Both girls shrugged and nodded. "Highly convenient."

"Nah," Bebe said with a smile, "just lucky."

And they were; if Bebe and Wendy didn't share the same dorm room for the past seven years then perhaps they wouldn't have even discovered their feelings. And if they had, they wouldn't be as intimate. They would be just like Craig and Kenny; too afraid to make a move, despite how much they wanted to.

But, lucky for them, Wendy and Bebe weren't like them. The raven grabbed the blonde's hand and they both rushed to the dance floor. They were taking Craig's advice. And seeing two girls dance together, to try to get everyone else too, yeah that was normal. Or at least it seemed normal.

"So…" Kenny trailed off, turning to gaze at Craig. The older boy tilted his head slightly and his smile widened as he looked back at Kenny.

"Hmm?"

"You wanna go dance?"

They had been so fixated on just sitting there, holding each other's hand that they hadn't realized that everyone was now on the dance floor, as to not stick out, they joined their classmates and dates on the floor, dancing stiff and awkward, much like the other guys.

Wendy and Bebe grabbed each of them and got both Kenny, and a much more stubborn Craig, to do at least a little more than stand there and shuffle their feet for a little while. Kenny was having fun, dancing ridiculously odd with Bebe and trying his best not to laugh. Craig was just barely getting by with Wendy, but she seemed to find amusement in his painfully awkward efforts.

And then suddenly a hand was on Craig's waist, the other holding his hand. He met Kenny's gaze and smiled softly as he stared at his boyfriend, daring him.

"You said we get a dance," Kenny mumbled. Craig gave a nod and kept his eyes low. His stomach twisted from nausea, as a result of his nerves. "You sure you're okay with this?"

Yes, he was; more than anything, despite his sometimes near-crippling anxiety during situations such as these. This was what he had wanted all along. His hand rested on Kenny's waist, beneath the fabric of his tux was his flesh. Warm, twisting at the gentle pressure. Begging to be touched.

"Thank you," Craig mumbled, "for doing this." The blonde laughed and just stared at Craig with twinkling blue eyes. As if nothing was out of the ordinary, as if they wouldn't be expelled and disgraced if the teachers finally noticed their actions. But they had time. And they'd figure it out if it came to that. For now this is what mattered.

"No, I should thank _you_," Kenny replied, brushing his thumb on his side. Craig shivered slightly and bit his lip.

And they stayed like that, dancing together, song after song. Slow, fast, it didn't matter. No one seemed to notice, or if they did they didn't say anything. Everyone else was preoccupied, as they were; with one another.

"But seriously," Craig murmured into Kenny's ear, "this dance is really fucking stupid."

"Are you feeling sick?" he whispered back, breath ghosting over his ear lobe. Craig trembled as he gave a shaky nod. His body was on fire from Kenny's innocent, slight touches. He felt heavy, yet like he was floating. Dizzy with desire.

The younger teen gave a nod and put an arm around his back, leading him from the dance floor.

"You're pulling this off well," Craig grimaced; his stomach had been knotting with nerves the entire night; he was actually starting to feel a little ill. His nerves were finally getting the best of him. Perhaps he'd actually end up sick and ruin the night. Did he want that? He wasn't quite sure at the moment.

He wanted Kenny. But he wasn't sure.

Bebe winked at the blonde as he led Craig to the doors. He kept his head low and tried his best to go unnoticed by the faculty and chaperones. Except, as they got passed the bleachers, Dr. Mackey, the guidance counselor stopped them.

"A little early to leave the dance, isn't it, Mr. McCormick? Mr. Tucker?" He suggested, eyes on them like a hawk. The two boys were for him to say his infamous "Mmkay". It never happened.

"Craig is feeling ill," Kenny responded, patting his boyfriend's back gently. "I'm just taking him to his room."

"Mmkaaaay," he began; there it was. All was well. "Well, there's no re-admission, mmkay? We an surely take him to his room or the infirmary and-"

Craig slumped against Kenny. He was afraid they were about to be discovered. This was too much for his already fried nerves.

"I'm all right, sir. I want to help my friend. Missing a dance where no one is really dancing is quite alright to me." Mackey eyed him warily yet Kenny stood his ground. His grip tightened around Craig, who was frozen in fear as he stared at the ground.

"Well, mmmkay then. I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well, Mr. Tucker. Are you sure a visit to the infirmary won't be better?"

"No," he mumbled, feeling fainter. He just needed to lay down.

Kenny's hand was around him tight now, and he hurried them out of the gymnasium. Craig moaned, resting his head on Kenny's shoulder. The blonde, noting his truly sick disposition, stopped and leaned against the lockers.

"Dude, you aren't looking too good." Craig looked up at him and took a shaky breath. "Look, tonight's big. But it doesn't have to be as big as you're thinking. If you're not feeling well I'm not going to push you. If you really just want to go to your room, I'll take you there and make sure you're all comfortable and then-"

"And then you'll stay," Craig interrupted him, "Ken, I'm just… can we go to my dorm?" Kenny nodded and held the raven tight against him.

As they walked Craig tried to regulate his breathing. Between Kenny's gentle caresses against his side and leaning against him, smelling him, Craig was a fluttery nervous wreck. He was sure he wanted this. But when the time finally came… he wasn't ready.

He knew he wasn't. And this is what they had both been looking forward to for weeks. They worked so hard to make it perfect and now Craig was ruining it.

But Kenny didn't seem bothered at all as he grabbed Craig's room key card from his pocket and held it to the door. A soft beep was heard, followed by a single blink of a red light, and he bumped the door with his hip. Kenny helped him up the stairs, his feet fumbled and he was afraid he'd actually puke as he stepped up from the last stair.

He opened the third door and Craig and Kenny both laughed in awe as they stared at Craig's bed. Some electronica song was playing from the desktop Craig and Tweek shared, and on Craig's nightstand lay a bottle of KY and a box of condoms with a bow on it.

"Dammit, Tweek…" Craig grumbled. Kenny burst out laughing and waggled his eyebrows at the raven, who sat on his bed and kicked off his shoes.

"You wanna put on something more comfortable?" Kenny asked, "I can get you some pajamas."

"I sleep in my boxers, c'mere." The blonde blinked at this and sat on the bed next to Craig. They both looked at each other and giggled softly, pink growing in their cheeks. "Hi." Kenny snickered at the soft mumble from his boyfriend.

"Hi."

"So… it's nice to see my roommate is considerate of our safety and comfort."

"He's such a nice guy," Kenny replied, earning a light shove on the arm, "hey, I like him!" Craig rolled his eyes. "But you're not feeling well."

"Not really, actually." To blame his anxiety would be stupid. It wasn't like he didn't want to have sex with Kenny. He did. That's basically all that was on his mind for the past week. But he wasn't sure if right now, in these circumstances, was the right time.

Two Catholic boys in a strict Catholic school trying their best to quickly do the frick frack did not seem like a great first time story. Not that Craig was all about the romantics. But if one of them was getting something shoved up their butt, he wanted it to be something they could make a night of rather than a few minutes.

He just wasn't sure if Kenny was understanding of that.

"It's… I got worked up," he finally whispered.

Kenny knew about his anxiety levels. He'd know exactly what he meant. He wanted so hard to make it the best night for Kenny. For both of them. He just wasn't sure how into it he would be. Or if he could go through with it right now. Not when a resident assistant could walk in on them any second. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, you've got nothing to be sorry for," Kenny mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

Craig closed his eyes at the gentle touch; thankfully Kenny knew that was something that was a ground for him. "It's scary, I've never done it either, y'know. And I don't want to unless you want to. I had the time of my life dancing with you, Craig. I love you and whether or not we end up being butt buddies tonight won't change that."

"What did you say?"

"Well, I was trying to be funny."

Craig blinked at him and took his hand.

"You love me?" Kenny saw the astonishment on his face and smiled gently.

"Course I do, why would I spend the last three years trying to lock or pinkies when we walk if I didn't?" Craig laughed a little and noted the redness in Kenny's cheeks. He was flustered as well.

"I love you too," Craig murmured; it felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Finally he could say it. "I love you."

A phrase so overused that the meaning has been diminished. A feeling that no one can explain but so many abuse. They had both been denying it for so long now that it almost felt like telling the truth after a well-conceived lie. It was a lot like that, actually.

Craig pressed his fingers against Kenny's cheek. The freckles along the bridge of his nose contrasted against dark blush and light pallor of his cheeks. His blue eyes were bright as they smiled down at him. He looked beautiful, too graceful for words, and Craig knew he was so lucky to have his affections.

He brushed his thumb along his cheek, feeling his skin, dry from the weather, against his own. His other hand rested on Kenny's knee, fingertips pressing into his skin slightly.

This time he looked vulnerable. As if Craig's locked gaze had looked passed the mirrors in his eyes and managed to dive into the deepest depths of his soul. He looked a little scared, but a little excited too.

The raven stiffened as a pair of lips brushed against his, coaxing little tremors in his shoulders as he felt the gentle caress of a mouth against his. His first kiss.

He pulled Kenny closer and pressed their foreheads together. Their eyes were still locked but this time it was Craig's cheeks that were on fire. Kenny smiled and pressed their lips together once more.

"I'll always have you," Kenny murmured, "I'll always have this."

Craig nodded and tightened his grip on Kenny's knee. The other boy had his hands on his waist. Craig leaned forward, pressing their chests against one another. He could feel Kenny's heart pound against his own. The beats were off; Kenny's was faster.

It was the touches that they needed, not necessarily the heat, but the lust was in their curious touches. As Craig traced his fingers down Kenny's chest, mouth attached to his, tongues exploring the other's mouth trying to find out how to make the quiet sounds their mouths would muffle.

The raven stiffened as Kenny's thumb brushed against his nipple. Kenny stopped moving and broke apart their kiss. He gazed at Craig; his flushed cheeks and dazed brown eyes lazily focused on him.

"Why'd you stop?" Craig asked.

"I thought I hurt you or something," the darker haired teen shook his head and held Kenny's hand to his chest.

"Do it again."

And so they listened, pressing and touching until they found a spot that would make the other gasp or tense from their actions. It was almost more of a curiosity factor than anything, at the moment.

Kissing was nice, they could definitely agree on that. The constant lip lock they were connected by grew hungrier as their hands brushed over sweet spots unearthed and their bodies pressed closer and closer to one another.

Their clothing grew to be too much. As they kissed they fumbled to unbutton their shirts and to undo their trousers. They were left in boxers and undershirts, skin against skin. Their legs and arms tangled with one another, desperate for that closeness.

Craig's eyes widened as Kenny lay him down on the bed, his knee in between both of Kenny's legs. The blonde kept his eyes on him as he thrust forward, locking their hips together. Craig let out a sharp gasp and the fire in his stomach surged.

And before he knew it their bodies were rocking against each other. But their frottage wasn't about need for release. It was all new, so new, and the urgency in their bodies was for the connection they had just found. For the years spent longing for this moment but too afraid to make a move. It may not have been what they originally planned for, it may not have been sex, but it was them… and that's what mattered.

And the violent rocking of hips slowed to gentle rolls as they tangled their limbs and kept each other tongue tied in passionate kisses. Craig mirrored Kenny's caresses, pressing his fingers into his back, trying to grasp this feeling and hold it tight so he could have it forever.

The muscles in Craig's tightened as he felt one of Kenny's hands slide up his thigh, to rest at the front of his briefs. A gentle pressure was felt against his erection and he squirmed. Although he wanted that, more than anything, he squirmed and took Kenny's hand in his, then pulled it up to his stomach.

The blonde tilted his head slightly and pressed a kiss to the crook of his shoulder before pulling away. He straddled him, looking ravenous- and very cute that way.

"Are you okay?" Kenny asked, his voice airy and a little deeper. Craig's stomach tightened and he felt dizzy from the lust radiating from their bodies.

"I-I…" he was speechless. Kenny's hand caressed his sides; his muscles twitched from the gentle touch. "I don't know if…"

"You're ready for that?" Craig bit his lip.

"I thought I was but… now I'm not."

Kenny smiled and nodded, then sidled off of him, instead lying next to him in the small twin-sized bed. Craig raised an eyebrow and allowed Kenny to pull him close.

"Kay." The raven blinked.

"W-wait, you're okay with…"

"I've got you. That's all that matters. That and you being comfortable. Are you?"

Craig laughed goofily and cupped Kenny's cheeks in his hands, then planted a kiss firmly on his swollen lips. He then nodded and continued to gently kiss him.

"Yup."

The blonde smiled and wrapped an arm around Craig's bare waist. He rested his head back on Craig's pillow and his fingers found solace in Craig's mess of wavy hair. Craig rested his head on Kenny's chest, listening to the gentle beats of his heart, feeling the calm rise and fall of his lungs.

"Ken? Are you okay with not… doing anything?" Craig finally asked, breaking the long silence that had followed the sudden end to their passionate touches and frottage.

"Mhmm…" he sounded as if he was drifting off to sleep.

The black-haired teen smiled softly and pressed a kiss to his chest before he closed his eyes as well. Maybe prom didn't go as they had expected. Maybe he was a bundle of nerves and anxiety. But Kenny understood him, and he was right. He had him. They had each other; that's all that mattered. That, and their comfort.

And yeah, Craig definitely had that too.

The rest could wait.

After all, they had waited three years for this night. To have their first kiss, to cuddle, to hold each other; to feel alive. They had waited long enough. They could wait a little more.

…probably.


End file.
